Abuse

Abuse comes in many forms and leaves emotional scars including low self image, low self esteem and self worth and difficulties in relationships (with trust & safety)

Abuse is about control, power, aggression, advantage taking and manipulation (on the part of the abuser) and vulnerability & isolation on the part of the abusee.

Sexual Abuse

This can involve coercion, persuasion and manipulation (grooming) as well as force. Consent, even when given, can be withdrawn at any time, and minors, and those without mental capacity (including those who are asleep, drunk or drugged) are unable to consent. Refusing to have a sexual relationship with a life partner but not wanting them to have a sexual relationship with anyone else and effectively forcing them to be celibate can also constitute a form of sexual abuse.

Physical Abuse and Domestic Violence

Actual physical violence including pushing as well as throwing things at the other person with intent to harm, as well as direct or indirect threats of harm to the person, belongings and others. Regular “jokey” slaps or assualt passed off as part of friendly humour, can also be classified as physical abuse.

Emotional Abuse

Including regular direct or indirect put downs, unfavourable comparisons, sarcastic comments and refusal of requests to resolve problems. Emotional abuse also includes neglecting to offer appropriate or any support for a partner or loved one perhaps when they are unwell or particulalry vulnerable.

Neglect

Neglect by ignoring, not validating or acknowledging someones needs or feelings, avoiding them and making them feel they are at fault and deserve no better than to be ignored or overlooked is abusive. It leads someone to feel as if they do not exist and question their own sanity.

Financial abuse

Comes in many forms: withholding or controlling money within a relationship, denying the other from reasonable spending on themselves or the home, pressurising others into handing over inheritance for “investments” such as a “business opportunity”. The abuser may appear kindly & position themselves as a “finacial advisor” telling the victim that handing over their money for “investment” is a “no brainer”.
Inheriting money following bereavement, and being isolated inadvertently makes people, unfortunately, a very attractive target for financial abusers.

Financial abuse is increasingly common in older adults, bereaved people, through internet romance scams and rogue builder scams.

Abuse of any type makes people feel completely worthless and leaves deep emotional life long scars.

Professional help enables you to recognise what has been happening and realise that you have choices. It also helps to re-build confidence and make changes to prevent other abusive situations occurring in the future.